Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
