she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
