I'm eating all of the evidence.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
