dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
