she was so not down for the gang bang
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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