"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
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