eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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