Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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