Your tits are I can't wait for
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
soo... how was my night?
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