As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
