i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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