Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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