I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She's the barista slut.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
