Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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