i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
