I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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