I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
