i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My bed is full of blood and feathers
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
