it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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