Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
