Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
