don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i dont even know how to be here
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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