what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
