I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
