she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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