Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
