I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
