I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
