feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
