Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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