I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
