So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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