At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
operation harelip BJ is a go
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
