The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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