I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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