how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
