Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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