But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
