I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
