all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
