Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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