i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
