Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
