So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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