Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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