you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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