Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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