that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
