why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
