Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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