Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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