dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
