I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
